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College Essay Guide part 3

태국산 호어갤로그로 이동합니다. 2009.10.21 14:56:44
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Read parts 1+2 first:
https://gall.dcinside.com/list.php?id=foreign_university&no=65815&page=1&bbs=
https://gall.dcinside.com/list.php?id=foreign_university&no=65819&page=1&bbs=

Consider an essay written by a student of mine (won\'t reproduce, but will describe)

Para 1: An almost typical account of a football practice, and going over to a teammate\'s room to play Madden afterwards.
Para 2: The BACKGROUND. How he used to be painfully shy when he firstgot to school, and spent almost entire freshmen year not knowinganyone. Then he joined the football team even though he had never eventouched a football before--because it was sth new and he knew he had tobreak out of his old shell
Para 3: How football\'s been the best decision ever, an awesometransformative experience. How he\'s met a lot of people, overcomeshyness, and is even "the guy" now, the guy goes out of his way to meetpeople and bring them together, etc.
Para 4: Theme? Try something new. Try something dangerous. Trysomething you\'ve never tried before. Tackle new challenges, like youhave to tackle opponents bigger than you. You might be squashed in theprocess, but hey. You can\'t be afraid of failure. We\'re all sosatisfied with the status quo, but then we will never progress.
Para 5: So now I am always challenging the status quo, always branchingout from my shell. The shyness wasn\'t just about people, but about newthings, too. And now I\'ve broken through that. And unless I constantlypoze new challenges for myself, I will never improve. Even if I were tobe better than everyone else, I must continue to challenge myself tobeat myself in order to be a better man. And this is why I wake up eachmorening--to be a better man than I was yesterday, to reach heightsthat I never reached before.

And despite the corny football story and almost a typical shortcomingof shyness, this essay was enough to get a kid into a school where hisSAT was 300 below the median. You know why? Because most people, evenwhen they\'re getting the help of their English teachers or even privateessay tutors, still write crappy essays, because they can\'t identifythe fact that paragraph 4+5 is what makes all the difference.
Don\'t leave it up to the adcoms to think and figure out what your theme is.

---

So what of all this?

Well, if you have a story, start writing it.

You can write as the sample provides, in chronological order.

Or you can do it as SAT Writing class would teach--with a hook at thebeginning. The CLIMAX of the story (conflict, dilemma, the choice youhad to make, the difficult aspect) in paragraph 1, general backgroundof the climax (what it\'s about, how you got to that point) in paragraph2, and resolution of the situation in paragraph 3.

If you don\'t have a story, think about yourself for a bit. What aspectof you do you want to sell to the adcoms? Then start with paragraphs 4and 5.
Identify some great truth about life/success/failure/yourself in para 4. Describe why that\'s important in general.
And in para 5, tell us why that makes you any special.
And then try to think where you gained that value described in para 4.Or anything from your life that might feasiibly tied to 4. If all elsefails, just make shit up. The sample essay provided above, as well asmy own essay, were absolutely fictituous accounts.

But don\'t get too bogged down on the story. Para 4 and 5 are what makes an essay.

At the same time, presentation matters. This is why the story can\'t bejust, like, a paragraph long. Again, this is something that is verysubjectively judged. A story matters. To shirk that part and focus onpara 4+5 will only come off as pretentious. (Because, in the end, theessay prompt usually is something like "Tell us about a time..." orsomething or other.)

General rule? For a 500 word essay, I shoot for 300 words of story and 200 words of theme+application. Give or take 10%.

An essay probably shouldn\'t be less than 450 words or more than 550.One of the simplest rules that colleges give you--try not to break it.Maybe you might get away with an amount you can fit into a page (if youuse short words, nearly 600), since they print it out afterall. Butstill, generally not a good idea. (But then again, my own essay wasover a thousand, so do what you will)(but maybe that\'s why i wasrejected from Tufts, BC, et al.)        

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