I've caused too much burden to too many people.

Pain, many people experienced and suffered because of me is too enormous.

There is no way I can imagine how large all the pain that I would have to endure would be in the future either.

Even the remaining part of my life would be burden to other people.

I can't do anything due to my poor health condition.

I cannot read any book nor write anything either.

Don't be too sad.

Don't blame on anyone.  It is the fate.  Cremate me~!

And leave only a very small tomb stone at some place near my house.

It's a very old thought.